Our lives (broken & open)

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(Painting: Li Guijin, title unknown)

I’m so afraid when you hold me: I’m terrified of the loss inside multiply: I had something taken from me long ago: aka I didn’t have a heart: aka it was a toy to be trampled over by cruel men: aka I’m so afraid of us becoming the face of my abuser: I keep hoping I won’t fall in love with the one who hurt me: the one who left me: the one who beat me: I’m still afraid but when you hold me I feel your weight and its comfort and safety I feel your weight and strength: god carry me I am broken: I am open: I know the terror still persists but when I kiss your lips the fear subsides and I love how together we take to the skies I want you forever and if you ask me I’ll say yes you make me nervous all the time but the good kind of thrills that run through my chest: I think I’m in love: I think I met my other half: I think I feel the ground shake when I put my hand in his; all my life I’ve been looking for this; baby will you be mine

Lord give us your blessing let us live in your skies: our lives intertwined

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